its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
