Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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