If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
