Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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