I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
