It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
