so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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