the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
