Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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