So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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