if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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