idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
