I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
