Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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