we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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