We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
