at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
