I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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