no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
