he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
