found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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