I puked a lego.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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