in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing