So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?