i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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