You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
