I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
