I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
