I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
