dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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