now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
