Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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