shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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