Non-Jews are for practice
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
