They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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