This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
