it wasn't lemon gatorade
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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