There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
