I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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