BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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