i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
