My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
