If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
only if we run a train.
done.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
