Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
