I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
