i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
