I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
