so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
