I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
