So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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