he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
