dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
