dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
