Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
