They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
