Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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