I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
