so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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