but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
